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A great present for Grandma! |
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Question of the Week for 07.27.04: Does God have to turn God mode on?
Or, Can God play with God mode off? With Doom 3 coming out next
week, I'm just curious.
Question of the Week for 06.10.04: Does a man over 65 get a senior
citizen discount with hookers? I'm just wondering, because
if they did, guys probably wouldn't mind getting old.
Question of the Week for 05.20.04: Why Trojan? Why do they
call them Trojan Condoms? Wasn't the
purpose of the Trojan horse to get inside and release its load all over the
place? That's not what I look for in a condom.
Question of the Week for 05.13.04: What's wrong with having the
maturity of a kindergartener? Absolutely nothing. Lots of people
seem to think there's something wrong with acting like a two year-old.
Except for like one situation, there isn't anything wrong with it. While a
mature person is sitting in class, taking notes; I am driving around
a remote control car and wearing an Indian Feather Headdress. Who do you
think is having more fun?
Question of the Week for 05.06.04: Why do
I go to school dances? I go because I like to pay 15
dollars to stand around in a dark room with music so loud that I can’t tell
whether the thumping in my chest is my heart or the insanely loud bass. I’m
just that kind of mindless masochistic moron. (Sarcasm
aside, I consistently find myself enjoying these things. Yay for mindless
masochism, I guess.)
Question of the Week for 04.29.04: Does
god hate you? In case you didn’t notice, yes. Yes he does.
Question of the Week for 4.15.04- How
long could one of my cats last in the refrigerator before it stopped being
funny? I'm just curious.
Question for the Week of
4.1.04- If you ask someone to do something, is that psychology? I
mean, making someone do something by making them you don't want them to is
reverse psychology, so wouldn't letting them know you do want them to do it
be regular psychology? I sure hope so, because then I'd be a experienced
Psychologist. I'm already a minister, so I
figure I'm gonna go for all the titles I can. If this "Dr." thing doesn't
work out, next I'm going for "Pimp Daddy", and you can't go wrong with that.
(Note. When I wrote this, I
spelt psychology wrong every single time. Even that time I just wrote it to
tell you that I spelled it wrong. Just another re-affirmation of my massive
suckitude.)
Question for the Week of
3.18.04- Why do people go to church on Sundays? Now, I'm not
religious, so correct me if I'm wrong: Isn't Sunday the day of rest? Never
mind the fact that people should be resting instead of going to church, what
about God? I mean, If I were God, which I often believe I am, I wouldn't
want people barging into church- my house- and praying to me for an
hour. The celestial dude has 6 whole other days of the week to listen to
the entire world bitch and moan to him; give it a break. It's no wonder he
makes shit like the 40 days and 40 nights of rain happen- that's the only
way he's ever gonna get a fucking break.
PS. I am not
doing this just to get back on God's good side.
Question for the Week of 3.11.04- 100% Fruit Juice Blend:
Explain me this: If something is 100% fruit juice, how can the main
ingredient be filtered water? Wouldn't that imply the presence of filtered
water, which is, by definition, not fruit juice? |
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